I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
