my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
