end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
