Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
