he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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