Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
