I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Be still, my beating vagina.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize