He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
how drunk are you?
Several
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize