oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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