Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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