I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
