this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
