Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
