He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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