the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
