sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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