JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
