OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You pole danced in your parka.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
