Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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