Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
