All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
