So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She bit a glass in half.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
