I wish i was in the wii world.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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