I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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