Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
