I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
how drunk are you?
Several
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
