Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize