So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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