Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
