i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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