Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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