I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
handjob tips. give me some.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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