dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Terrible idea I love it
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
