Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Randomize
