Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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