Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
