It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize