STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Randomize
