The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Randomize