This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
