I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
