I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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