yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
