Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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