I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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