This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
