I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize