He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I think people are normalizing furries
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
