Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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