Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
