I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
