no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize