Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
