we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Panties = found
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
