pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
