Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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