Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
