he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
