i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I love you.
Bad choice
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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