party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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