He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
