shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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