you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
