yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
