No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
