you have to choose: penises or morals?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
