hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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