Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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