How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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