For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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