IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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