Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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