Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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