i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
