shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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